Survey Says? Not Injured!

I’m not quite sure whether to be thrilled with the results of my MRI or take a hard look in the mirror and question my toughness. 

The good news:  Doc told me my knee looks great and the MRI results were normal.  I definitely did not tear my Meniscus (which he was previously guessing) and there weren’t other unusual findings either. 

The bad news:  Doc seems to have no idea what is causing the pain.  He’s guessing it may be Plica Syndrome which he described as some sort of irritation of the knee caused by Plica (I love when people don’t realize it isn’t particularly helpful to use the word you’re defining in the definition.)  He also said he can’t be sure it is Plica and could just be a pinched nerve (sort of like when you bite your cheek and it becomes irritated and you keep doing it.) 

Anyway, he does not recommend surgery at this point as Physical Therapy should help (he’s guessing) and he sounded confident that I’m not going to injure it worse by continuing to train.  I left the appointment feeling somewhat relieved that I didn’t need surgery but somewhat frustrated that I still didn’t really have an answer.

When I got home, I turned to Google to help me figure out what Plica Syndrome is and the sites I found didn’t exactly clear it up for me.

·         Theknee.com:  “Synovial plica, sometimes referred to as patella plica, is an injury to the fold in the sheath that surrounds and produces the synovial fluid that lubricates the knee.”

·         Wikipedia:  “Plica Syndrome (also known as Synovial Plica Syndrome) occurs when the plica (an extension of the protective synovial capsule of the knee) becomes irritated or inflamed.”

·         Eorthopod.com:  “Plica syndrome is an interesting problem that occurs when an otherwise normal structure in the knee becomes a source of knee pain due to injury or overuse.”

Is Eorthopod.com serious with that definition?…I mean, it’s an “interesting problem?"  Awesome, really helpful.  Plus, couldn't their definition of Plica Syndrome be used for pretty much any injury?  Read that one again quickly and let's test my theory with my guess as to how Eorthopod.com would define a broken arm.

Broken arm definition:  An interesting problem caused when an otherwise normal structure (the arm) becomes a source of pain due to injury (the break)

Yep, I'm pretty sure I'm right.  For fun, let's try it again with my guess as to how Eorthopod.com would define a headache:

Headache:  An interesting problem caused when an otherwise normal structure (the head) becomes a source of pain (the ache). 

Making up those definitions reminds me of playing Balderdash growing up.  If you think about it, Balderdash has to be one of the most underrated games ever.  I’d say it’s my 3^rd favorite game in the world.  Here is a quick look at what I consider the top 10 greatest games of all-time:

1. Spin The Bottle
2. Truth or Dare
3. Balderdash
4. Hide-and-seek
5.  Marco Polo
6. Contra on Nintendo
7. Connect 4
8. Tag
9. H-O-R-S-E
10. Brickbreaker

There really is no point arguing about my list.  These are the greatest games…it’s indisputable.  I’d be willing to bet a lot of money that in the history of human civilization the sentence “Last night really sucked because I played Spin the Bottle the whole time” has never once been said.  It’s not possible. 

Sorry, I’m slightly getting off topic…let’s get back to my injury (or lack thereof).  So where do things stand at this point with my knee?  Well, I can’t help but think back to what my trainer from Harrison High School, Todd Reid, used to say whenever we would go to him with ankle problems, knee problems, etc.  He would take a serious look, do some quick tests, and then say “I know what it is…looks like you’ve got another case of Pussitis.” 

I’ll continue with my fun in defining words and let you know that he made very clear Pussitis was defined as “thinking you’re hurt when you’re actually just being a pussy.” 

So, after more than $1000 spent on x-rays, an MRI, and 3 trips to the Orthopedist without definitively figuring out the issue, I realized all I had to do was think back to the Harrison High School trainer and realize what my real problem was... I just need to suck it up!!

Now that I know I’m fine, let’s test that knee and get to some jump rope.  Goal #10 on my list is to jump rope 100 times in 1 minute.  To be honest, I have no idea if that is really hard or really easy but I guess we’ll give a shot.  I’m pretty sure I haven’t jumped rope in the last 20 years so this could get ugly…

Well, I guess we can describe that as anticlimactic.  100 as a goal is a complete joke…sorry I wasted your time with that.  I did 150 in a minute in the video and I could probably do a lot more if I didn’t jump as high.  Apparently, 150 or more would have been a better goal. 

I would consider changing the goal but I’m not going to make any of the hard goals easier so I guess I shouldn’t make this one more difficult.  I’m counting it as complete (since it technically is) which brings my total to 3 aspirations complete (bench press, pull-ups, and jump rope) and it is only the end of January.  Let’s do some quick math and see how I’m projected to do throughout the year:

# of aspirational goals to complete this year = 35

# of goals completed in 1^st month (January) = 3

# of months in a year = 12

Projected goals completed by end of year = 3 *12 = 36!

I’m on pace to finish 36 out of my 35 goals!!  That’s right, 102.9%!  Boooyyyyahhhh!

On that note, it’s time for a brew.  Have a great weekend.

Schmeis

Are You Hurt Or Are You Injured?

Remember the movie “The Program” from the early 90s? It was a pretty badass movie about a fictional college football team starring Omar Epps, Halle Berry, and James Caan. I was in high school at the time and while I wasn’t on the football team, I clearly remember everyone talking about the movie when it came out. In the original release, there was a scene involving players on the team showing their bravery by lying down in the middle of a busy road while cars zoomed past.  This seemed like a pretty cool idea except that it ended up being imitated by some teenage football players in real life…2 died while several others were seriously injured. Apparently, having kids get run over by cars while lying in the middle of the road wasn’t exactly what the Disney brand was going for so they pulled the scene.

In addition to that crazy situation, the movie also produced some very memorable quotes from their many great football action scenes including:

- “Let’s open up a can of kick ass and kill them all, let the paramedics sort them out!”
- “Let’s put the women and children to bed and go lookin’ for dinner!”
- “Are you hurt, or are you injured?”

That final quote/question is brilliant. “Are you hurt or are you injured?” was asked by the coach after a player gets tackled hard and goes down holding his leg. When the player looks up and has no idea what the coach means he gets told “well, if you’re injured, I can’t let you go back in, but if you are hurt then you can play.” Predictably, the player hears this and says he is only hurt and then runs back limping onto the field. It’s 1 of about 262 meathead scenes from the movie…

However stupid it may seem, I have actually asked myself that question a lot lately in my quest for 35 for 35. My joints are constantly hurting on runs and my left knee has really been bothering me for the last few months. My workouts are putting constant pressure on my body and I keep pushing more and more. Since launching my blog on December 18, here are some stats for you:

- 34 days have gone by
- 31 days I have worked out (91.1%)
- 17 hours of swimming
- 15.5 hours on a bike, 258 miles (combo of road bike and spin classes)
- 7.5 hours of running, more than 52 miles
- 5 hours of lifting weights
- 17,345,761 times I’ve told myself that I’m awesome

In total, I’ve put in 45 hours of working out in the last 34 days. It feels great mentally but may not be smart physically. As I mentioned, my left knee has really been bothering me and has forced me to limit my running. For some perspective on the pain, I’ve fallen over a few times on my first step getting out of bed because the pain was so strong. Taking significant time off from working out may make sense but it is so hard for me to do. If you think about it, there is such a fine line between being smart and being a pussy when it comes to pain…it’s really tough to know what to do. Up until now, I have kept telling myself that I’m hurt, not injured.

Finally, this week I caved and went to see an Orthopedist. My session started out quickly with the doctor asking what I think is one of the dumbest questions consistently asked about injuries:

“On a scale of 1 – 10, with 10 being the worst pain you can possibly imagine, how much does your knee hurt?”

I’m officially starting a global campaign to change the wording on this question. I mean, I don’t know about you, but I can imagine some pretty f*cked up things. Let’s see…I would consider a 10 something like my eyelids being held open while needles are stuck through my eyes as my body is set on fire and a Great White is biting off my left arm. So, I guess if that is a 10 I would consider my knee pain about a 1. Yes, I realize I’m a difficult patient.

Anyway, after we agreed on a pain scale and where my knee pain stood, he suggested x-rays and an MRI. The good news is that the x-rays showed I don’t have a stress fracture and there isn’t arthritis in the knee. The MRI should be able to tell if I have ligament or tendon damage but those results aren’t immediately available like an x-ray.

So, am I hurt or am I injured? Well, we’ll finally know for sure when I get the MRI results back tomorrow.

Wish me luck,
Schmeis

Sibling Rivalry: I've Got Him Right Where I Want Him

Oh yeah, it’s on.  Not only have I now officially registered for the White Lake 70.3 Half Ironman (1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike, and 13.1 mile run), but my brother has decided to drive out from Indiana and do it with me…or should I say, do it “against me.”  The Date?  May 5, 2012.  Yikes…less than 4 months away.

Alabama and LSU was billed as the game of the century but this race may go down as the greatest head-to-head matchup in the last 4 Billion years.  That’s right, I’m including David and Goliath, Ali-Frasier, and even any crazy dinosaur fights from several million years ago (I have to imagine there were some legendary Tyrannosaurus Rex brawls back in the day).  This day of swimming, biking, and running against my bro is projected to top all of those.

One of my goals on the list of 35 is to finish this Half Ironman in less than 6 hours.   White Lake 70.3 (70.3 = total combined swim, bike and run miles) is going to be almost 5 times longer than any race I’ve ever done.  It’s been over 90 degrees on race day each of the last few years.  It’s going to be a brutal day of battling through heat, hunger, dehydration, aches, and pains.  In short, I can’t wait. 

Plus, now that I know my brother is doing it, the 6 hour goal alone won’t make me satisfied.  I’m leaving it all out there in my attempt to capture the Schmeiser Trophy (pic below).  How confident am I that I’m going to win?  Let’s put it this way, I’ve contacted the engraver and they already put my name on it (see the writing in Blue at the bottom).  Ok, so that may have been me writing “Schmeis” in blue pencil font in the Windows Paint program, but the idea is still the same.  I also hope the engraver doesn’t appear as drunk as my carving of Schmeis has seemed.

Anyway, before diving in and assessing the upcoming competition, let’s take a look at what happened the last time my brother and I went head-to-head.  It was about 20 -25 years ago in a classic 1 on 1 (Jordan vs. Bird) epic driveway battle.  We played 2 days in a row and thanks to the magic of the home video camera and a tripod, real footage from those days was captured…  if only Gus Johnson could have been there to announce.  FYI…I’m the smaller one in the video if you didn’t know.

Can you believe that horrible luck?  I got beat on last second shots both days.  My favorite part is when I say “Bryan, it didn’t count…you fouled me.”  You know, calling a foul about 30 seconds after the fact…that was awesome.  Anyway, I still think about those losses.  Needless to say, I don’t exactly lose well.  I didn’t think anything good would ever come out of losing that day…until now.  I’m using that clip as motivation for the May 5 race.  I’ve also decided to bring a basketball to throw at him again if I lose.

Now, I could spend the next 1000 words slicing and dicing the numbers and analytically dissecting every potential outcome of this Half Ironman but let’s just sum it up with a quick tale of the tape.  Let’s start with my brother, aka:

Bryan “Even Vince Carter is more mentally tough than me” Schmeiser

·         Age: 37

·         Height:  6’4”

·         Weight:  180

·         Advantages: 

o   Swimmer in high school

o   Cross country runner in high school

o   Competitive mountain bike racer for last 12 years

o   Qualified for 2011 Xterra National Championships

o   Has been training non-stop for last 18 months

o   Has a coach and swim group to train with

o   Has spent more money on bike equipment than most people do on cars

o   Long stride from being 6’4”

o   Possesses detailed knowledge of insects from his undergrad Entomology degree (oh wait, that’s not relevant here or anywhere else in life)

Not too bad…pretty impressive resume for a loser.  Now, it’s my turn:

Michael “I eat Terminators for Breakfast” Schmeiser

·         Age:  34

·         Height:  6’1”

·         Weight:  180

·         Advantages:

o   Better looking

o   Has a tendency to pretty much dominate everything

o   3-time West Lafayette, Indiana City Putt-Putt Champion

o   Has been listening to “You’re the Best Around” from Karate Kid on repeat for last 36 hours.

o   Looking for revenge after the horrible 1 on 1 losses 25 years ago

o   Has Tim Tebow on his side pulling for a victory

So, who do you think is going to win?  Obviously, I just laid out a very compelling case for me to run away with the victory, but he could always get lucky with a last second win like before.  I guess at this point it’s pretty up in the air.  That, as they say, is why they play the game…

P.S.

I was going to end there but given I’ve got some adrenaline flowing from thinking about kicking my brother’s ass, I’m going to try to do my 70 pushups goal right now.  LET’S DO THIS!! 

Ok, so that didn’t go quite as planned.  I did 70 pushups but the form was probably a bit questionable at times.  I definitely am not touching chest to the ground (not that I said I would, but still) and my back is not quite flat.  Anyway, I don’t think I can count this. Let me know in the comments who you think will win the battle of Schmeiser brothers and whether I should count the pushups goal as completed.

Schmeis

Thank You Sir, May I Have Another?

I've always loved that line.  It’s fairly commonly used today in different circumstances but as far as I know, it came from the movie Animal House back in the 70’s.  In the scene, Kevin Bacon is pledging to the fraternity and gets spanked with a paddle to which he responds “Thank you sir, may I have another?”  I never thought I would be using it in the context of buying a new triathlon bike but that’s exactly what happened this weekend.

As a little background, I have been doing spin classes like a mad man the last few weeks and have been using my brother’s old bike for riding on the open road.  Sue has been riding with me on occasion using an old mountain bike with road tires.  I think it’s fair to say nobody has yet to mistake us for members of the USA Cycling Team.

Despite being January, we’ve already had several days here in North Carolina over 65 and sunny so I would far prefer to be outside riding than in the gym.  Looking through the 35 goals, it is obvious that without a good bike I’m going to be hurting as 7 of the 35 involve biking and I’m noticeably lacking in equipment for this category.  So, Saturday rolled around and I went to get fitted for a new Triathlon bike. 

After going through the fitting process, here were some of my key takeaways:

1.   You can spend anywhere from about $300 to $18.2 Billion on a new bike

2.   No matter how nice the bike is, if it doesn’t fit you perfectly, you’re screwed.

3.   I’m pretty sure I could ride a bike 3000 miles across the country in the time it takes to get fitted properly.

4.   Once you’ve bought the bike, you’re really just getting started.  You still need about 15,432 other accessories to go with it.

5.   If you don’t negotiate hard, you’re going to badly overpay.

I had set my sights on a Cervelo P3 coming into the process.  Why?  Well, from watching the Ironman special a few weeks ago it seemed like a lot of the studs had them and this is what it says on the Cervelo website:  With more wins in triathlons and time trials than any other bicycle in history, the P3 remains the benchmark for the entire industry, and the most copied Triathlon/TT bicycle in history.

Sounds good to me, let’s do it.  I was fit on a 58cm frame and the bike fitter put me through a series of different biking positions to make sure all the angles were perfect.  We ended up deciding the Cervelo P2 was a better geometry (that’s bike speak for fit) for me than the P3.  Once settled on this, we started with all the upgrades and accessories.  To give you a sense of that process, it went something like this:

1.   If you want more speed, you should upgrade the wheels:  Makes sense…I chose a Zipp 404 Wheelset

2.   You need tires to go on the new wheels:  Check…2 more tires…add it to the tab

3.   In case of a flat, you need to be able to repair it quickly:  Got it…add tire lever, spare tube, and CO2 cartridge for quick inflation during a race

4.   Sometimes the CO2 cartridge doesn’t work so you should have a pump also:  Fine, throw a small hand pump on the pile.

5.   How are you going to store all the flat tire repair equipment?:  Good question, apparently I need to buy a bracket and pouch for that stuff.

6.   You need a way to pedal:  I mean, why would a bike come with pedals?:  Ok, let’s do the Shimano carbon pedals.

7.   You need biking shoes and cleats to click into the pedals.  Ok, let’s do it.

8.   My aero bars felt a little too close together:  Alrighty, let’s buy an extension to separate them slightly.

9.   How are you going to drink water on the ride?  Wouldn’t it be nice to drink right out of the aero position without reaching for the water bottle?:  Ok, add aero drinking system to the bike.

10. What happens if you’re on a longer ride and need more water, you should have more places for extra water:  Fine, throw on extra brackets for water bottles.

11. You need the water bottles to go in the water bottle brackets:  Good point…done.

12. Won’t you want to know what your MPH and RPM are on the road?:  Sure, might as well add a little wireless computer that tells me that.

I could go on but I’ll spare you the rest.  Needless to say, I got to the register and the word “cheap” didn’t exactly come to mind.  So, after about 4 hours in the store I told him I would need to think about it.  At that point, I thought there was a 63% chance he was either going to kill me or kill himself.  Never fear though, I had a plan.

My plan was to use Sue in a good cop/bad cop routine.  Even though Sue was very supportive of me purchasing the bike, I thought I could get a much better deal.  I walked out of the store and called the sales guy later and threw Sue under the bus by saying she really wanted me to buy off Ebay or Craigslist and can’t see the value in getting a bike this nice.  I told the sales guy that I see the value but she just can’t get it and she wears the pants.  Obviously, the dude should have known at this point I was bluffing as I’m clearly the type of guy who wears the pants…I think we can all agree on that.  Well, at least I can agree with myself on that.  Anyway, to my pleasant surprise the price started to drop.  In the store, I had been offered 5% off.  With this strategy I moved him to 10% off of the bike and wheels and 15% off everything else.  This was as low as he could go he told me.  I said it was still too much and asked if there were any other options for getting a better deal.

He finally decided to mention to me that Cervelo is running a special right now that if I buy a 2^nd Cervelo bike, it will be $2000 more off.  Huh?  Seems a little late in the process to throw out that zinger but that’s what happened.  I asked about all the caveats and there really weren’t many…I even got him to agree to giving me the same 10% off list price and then subtracting the $2000 from that number.

With all of this, I went from thinking I wasn’t going to get the bike to saying “Thank you sir, may I have another?”  Sue desperately needed a bike so the deal was perfect for us.  She came in for her fitting and went through the same lengthy process.  Finally, after a long weekend, we ended up buying 2 Ceverlo Tri bikes and couldn’t be happier.  Never again will some chump pass me on a better bike with me thinking the only reason he was going so faster was he paid for the speed.  Now I’m the chump that did that!  Take a look at this freaking monster of a bike:

 

It’s now up to me to train and get the best use out of it.  After all, my first half Ironman is less than 4 months away and I need to finish in under 6 hours to check that one off the list.

And…speaking of the list, 25 pullups in a row is on there and I made that attempt today.  I’ll save all the background here and just cut to the chase.  Here is how it went:

30!!  Pretty solid.  The form may have been a little questionable at times but I think it was legit overall.  Feel free to rip me in the comments if you disagree but for now I’m counting it as complete.  That’s 2 goals down and 33 remaining…sweet!

Keep on Truckin.

Schmeis

...And Here We Go!

It took all of 55 minutes in 2012 for me to get to work on trying to achieve my 35 aspirations.  Sue and I hosted a New Year’s Eve Party to ring in 2012 and we had a great time but my mind kept wandering to those damn 35 goals.  In spite of being distracted by thoughts of my list, the ball dropped at midnight and I quickly gathered my focus enough to put my DJ skills in full effect…everyone knows people tend to leave right at midnight after the ball drops so I needed to get the music going immediately.  It didn't take long to make an impression...the music was magical...the crowd was going wild...I was in a zone.  It was as if I was reading the minds of the crowd as each tune I played got the people more pumped than the one before.   Sure, there were only about 15-20 people in my house (including my parents) but it may as well have been the club Tryst in Las Vegas.  I may charge a cover to my neighbors for my next bash...it was that good and I was that great of a time.

At 12:55am, I couldn’t ignore my list any longer.  I was drinking and I needed to compete so out comes a can of Coors Light from the refrigerator.  “Who has the stop watch?” I screamed in my most meat head voice.  “Sue, get the video going.”  My plan was to post the video here in the blog but I’ve been told chugging beer on camera while making crude comments to people in the crowd is frowned upon in the corporate world.  I will choose a few of you to show the video and then it will forever remain in the Schmeis35for35 archives never to be seen again. 

For those that won’t be lucky enough to see the video, here is the quick version:  I open the beer on camera to show that I’m pouring the full 12 ounces in a glass.  I do some quick stretches, make some crude comments, ensure that 2 people have stop watches going (you can’t take enough precaution with this kind of thing), get the main song from “You Got Served” amazingly to come on in the background right before my attempt, announce to the crowd that “there is no way I’m not doing this with this song in the background,” and then proceed to destroy the Coors Light in an instant.  The official time?  3.5 seconds says the stop watch.  I needed 3.0 or less.  FAILURE…I was crushed.  There had to be a conspiracy against me I thought.  I then declare to the camera that everyone knows human reaction time is .6 seconds which would bring my time to 2.9 seconds.  The crowd doesn’t buy it but there is a lot of debate on this one.  For now, I’m not counting #35 “Chugging a beer in 3 seconds” as complete.  I gave it my all though…I left it all out there…but it wasn’t good enough this day.

After sleeping most of the day away on January 1^st, I managed to get the TV turned on to watch some NFL games...then my mind started to work…NFL games à NFL combine à benching 225 lbs is a skill challenge at the NFL combine and it’s on my list à I need to go for the benching aspiration the next morning.  The truth is, I need to knock off all the goals that require upper body strength as soon as possible so I can move on to the swimming, running, triathlon stuff where being lighter will help.

I woke up at 6:30am this morning and Sue came with me to the gym to get the video.  After a brief warmup, the following took place.  I warn you that the audio quality absolutely sucks but it’s not like we could do another take.  There is a lot of background noise and Sue has the loudest laugh in the world which covered up some of my comments.  In any event, you can see clearly there is 225 on the bench (2 standard 45 pound plates on each side plus the standard 45 pound bar).  The goal?  Bench press 225 lbs 10 times.  It is item #6 on the list.  Here it is:

13!!!!!  Check one item off the list.  I nailed it.  For some perspective, I decided to look up the 2011 NFL combine results to see how I stacked up.  About 300 college guys participated but several don’t actually do the bench.  Quarterbacks, kickers, injured people, etc. all don’t usually participate but there is still a lot of data to sort through from those that did give it a go.  Let’s start with the running backs:  46 participated.  Max # of 225 reps was 32 by Anthony Sherman of Connecticut.  The least?  11!!! Ha!!  I literally beat Roy Helu of Nebraska by 2 reps at 225 lbs.  That’s so great.  I have no idea how that is even possible.  I’m embarrassed for the state of Nebraska.  I even feel badly for Warren Buffet since he’s from Omaha.  Anyway, I’m not going to even bother with the lineman since they are twice my weight but let’s check out the position where the guys are closer to my size, cornerback (by the way, I’m 6’1” 180 pounds).  38 cornerbacks participated in the bench at the combine this year.  11 out of 38 did 13 or less!  Not too bad.  Another 7 had either 14 or 15 so I was well within striking distance with my performance of 13.  Considering I haven’t even tried to bench 225 for over a year, I’m going to declare this one as pretty freaking awesome.

You can check out the results here if you want to check my math:

http://www.nfl.com/combine/participants

So, now that I know I basically should be in the NFL, I think that’s enough for today.  Until we meet again…

Schmeis