Sibling Rivalry: I've Got Him Right Where I Want Him

Oh yeah, it’s on.  Not only have I now officially registered for the White Lake 70.3 Half Ironman (1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike, and 13.1 mile run), but my brother has decided to drive out from Indiana and do it with me…or should I say, do it “against me.”  The Date?  May 5, 2012.  Yikes…less than 4 months away.

Alabama and LSU was billed as the game of the century but this race may go down as the greatest head-to-head matchup in the last 4 Billion years.  That’s right, I’m including David and Goliath, Ali-Frasier, and even any crazy dinosaur fights from several million years ago (I have to imagine there were some legendary Tyrannosaurus Rex brawls back in the day).  This day of swimming, biking, and running against my bro is projected to top all of those.

One of my goals on the list of 35 is to finish this Half Ironman in less than 6 hours.   White Lake 70.3 (70.3 = total combined swim, bike and run miles) is going to be almost 5 times longer than any race I’ve ever done.  It’s been over 90 degrees on race day each of the last few years.  It’s going to be a brutal day of battling through heat, hunger, dehydration, aches, and pains.  In short, I can’t wait. 

Plus, now that I know my brother is doing it, the 6 hour goal alone won’t make me satisfied.  I’m leaving it all out there in my attempt to capture the Schmeiser Trophy (pic below).  How confident am I that I’m going to win?  Let’s put it this way, I’ve contacted the engraver and they already put my name on it (see the writing in Blue at the bottom).  Ok, so that may have been me writing “Schmeis” in blue pencil font in the Windows Paint program, but the idea is still the same.  I also hope the engraver doesn’t appear as drunk as my carving of Schmeis has seemed.

Anyway, before diving in and assessing the upcoming competition, let’s take a look at what happened the last time my brother and I went head-to-head.  It was about 20 -25 years ago in a classic 1 on 1 (Jordan vs. Bird) epic driveway battle.  We played 2 days in a row and thanks to the magic of the home video camera and a tripod, real footage from those days was captured…  if only Gus Johnson could have been there to announce.  FYI…I’m the smaller one in the video if you didn’t know.

Can you believe that horrible luck?  I got beat on last second shots both days.  My favorite part is when I say “Bryan, it didn’t count…you fouled me.”  You know, calling a foul about 30 seconds after the fact…that was awesome.  Anyway, I still think about those losses.  Needless to say, I don’t exactly lose well.  I didn’t think anything good would ever come out of losing that day…until now.  I’m using that clip as motivation for the May 5 race.  I’ve also decided to bring a basketball to throw at him again if I lose.

Now, I could spend the next 1000 words slicing and dicing the numbers and analytically dissecting every potential outcome of this Half Ironman but let’s just sum it up with a quick tale of the tape.  Let’s start with my brother, aka:

Bryan “Even Vince Carter is more mentally tough than me” Schmeiser

·         Age: 37

·         Height:  6’4”

·         Weight:  180

·         Advantages: 

o   Swimmer in high school

o   Cross country runner in high school

o   Competitive mountain bike racer for last 12 years

o   Qualified for 2011 Xterra National Championships

o   Has been training non-stop for last 18 months

o   Has a coach and swim group to train with

o   Has spent more money on bike equipment than most people do on cars

o   Long stride from being 6’4”

o   Possesses detailed knowledge of insects from his undergrad Entomology degree (oh wait, that’s not relevant here or anywhere else in life)

Not too bad…pretty impressive resume for a loser.  Now, it’s my turn:

Michael “I eat Terminators for Breakfast” Schmeiser

·         Age:  34

·         Height:  6’1”

·         Weight:  180

·         Advantages:

o   Better looking

o   Has a tendency to pretty much dominate everything

o   3-time West Lafayette, Indiana City Putt-Putt Champion

o   Has been listening to “You’re the Best Around” from Karate Kid on repeat for last 36 hours.

o   Looking for revenge after the horrible 1 on 1 losses 25 years ago

o   Has Tim Tebow on his side pulling for a victory

So, who do you think is going to win?  Obviously, I just laid out a very compelling case for me to run away with the victory, but he could always get lucky with a last second win like before.  I guess at this point it’s pretty up in the air.  That, as they say, is why they play the game…

P.S.

I was going to end there but given I’ve got some adrenaline flowing from thinking about kicking my brother’s ass, I’m going to try to do my 70 pushups goal right now.  LET’S DO THIS!! 

Ok, so that didn’t go quite as planned.  I did 70 pushups but the form was probably a bit questionable at times.  I definitely am not touching chest to the ground (not that I said I would, but still) and my back is not quite flat.  Anyway, I don’t think I can count this. Let me know in the comments who you think will win the battle of Schmeiser brothers and whether I should count the pushups goal as completed.

Schmeis