Happy 35th Birthday To Me

It doesn’t take a dedicated reader dissecting the finer points of my blog to realize there is a very critical piece of my Schmeis35for35 quest…the number 35!

“35 Athletic Aspirations for my 35th Birthday” is clean and catchy but has one slight issue...it’s not exactly accurate.  Don’t hate me, but I’ll actually be 34 for more of 2012 than 35.

With my July 25th, 1977 birthday and my journey running throughout 2012, I guess technically my subtitle should say “35 athletic aspirations for the calendar year in which I turn 35.”  Sexy, right?  Now you see why I made the change.

Anyway, enough on my false advertising.  Let’s move on to more important things like my birthday.

This past week I celebrated my 35th by sipping on Bud Light (nothing but the best for me) and reflecting on my 30+ years of competing in sports and athletics.  There have been victories, defeats, clutch shots, embarrassing moments, etc. but all of it has contributed somehow to Schmeis35for35.

I would encourage you to get comfortable and grab some booze.  I’m on vacation from work this week and am about to talk about stories of my athletic past so this could get a bit lengthy…

Kindergarten (1982-1983)

I showed flashes of athletic brilliance in Kindergarten.  My primary talent was obvious; I was fast…really fast.  In fact, even 2 years before Kindergarten my mom dressed me in a SuperMan T-shirt.  I can only assume she was convinced I would soon be faster than a speeding bullet.

By the time I was 5, I vividly remember games of Tag going on for weeks without me getting touched.  That has to be some kind of record.

I clearly had a lot of raw talent but I had a huge deficiency as well.  I lacked the necessary coordination to be labeled a well-rounded athlete.  My teacher, Mrs. Foster, often required that the class skip on the way to recess. Simple enough, right?  No!  I didn’t know how to freakin’ skip!

Do you know how embarrassing it was to be the fastest 5-year old in school and not know how to skip?  That would be like Mary Lou Retton winning gymnastics Gold and then people finding out she can’t do a summersault.  It just didn’t make sense.

As the months went by, I slowly figured it out.  It was traumatizing but I think it humbled me and really helped sculpt me into the man I am today.

Elementary School (1st - 5th grade; 1983-1988)

Heading into first grade, I was ready to expand my athletic repertoire.  My incredible Kindergarten speed had only increased and I was no longer nervous while skipping.  This combination of coordination and quickness helped propel me into my first team sport experience…Soccer.

Let me be blunt here…I was an amazing soccer player.  I played mostly center-forward where I slithered my way through opposing defenses on the way to goal after goal.  Sure, most of the defenses at this age were composed of girls who were more interested in picking dandelions than watching the ball, but there will be no asterisks in my soccer record books.

In 3rd grade, I also made my baseball debut.  I was a short-stop (think more Ozzie Smith than Derek Jeter) and had dreams of greatness on the diamond.  I still remember my first at-bat.  I was hitting 9th in the lineup and the pitching machine delivered one to me right down the middle.  I sent the pitch in the gap between 1st and 2nd and easily made it to first base.  I remember proudly standing on the base and taking in all the screams from the crowd.

Then I got confused.  People were indeed screaming but the sound was different than cheers.  It turns out they were yelling for me to keep running.  This made no sense, I thought.  There was no way I was going to make it to second without getting out.  Why were they telling me to keep going?  After a couple of seconds went by, the defense threw the ball to 2nd and I was called out.  Huh?  I was still standing on first.  How could I be out?

It turns out the rules at this age had nothing to do with innings ending by a team getting 3 outs.  Instead, each team batted all the way through their 9-person lineup and the inning was over whether there were 0 outs or 9 outs at that time.  Because I was hitting 9th, I had to get all the way home or I was out.  Nobody let me know (thanks coach, thanks parents, thanks teammates) and I was left crying on first base…

Middle School (6th - 8th grade; 1988-1991)

I continued my soccer dominance into middle school, had long since quit baseball, and was ready for another team sport.  This time, basketball was the game.  For some reason, I chose not to play until middle school even though I had always enjoyed hooping it up on the playground.

In 6th grade, my team was 7-0 going into the final game of the year.  In that game, the score was tied with 10 seconds left and we were on defense.  Needing a stop to force OT, I made an incredible block but was whistled for a foul.  It was one of the worst calls in the history of basketball.  Tim Donaghy may have been the ref for all I know.  My brother still claims to this day that he flipped off the ref from the stands he was so mad.  It was so bad that the kid whose shot I blocked even said “bad call” to me as he went to the free throw line.  No joke.  He ended up making 1 of 2 free throws to put his team up 1 with a few seconds left.

With time running down, my teammate, Ryan Hartman, drove all the way to the hole as the defense collapsed around him.  I was standing wide open about 7 feet from the hoop on the baseline and ready to drain the game winner.  Unfortunately, I never got the chance.  He made a selfish play, tried to take it all the way himself, and got whistled for an offensive foul.  We lost by 1 and our undefeated season was ruined.  I was wide open.  I’ve never forgiven him for that play (well, he did go on to become one of my best friends and a groomsman in my wedding but you get the point)…

That experience propelled me into 7th grade basketball where the stakes were much higher.  The days of equal playing time for everyone were over.  7th grade is the start of merit-based hoops with tryouts.  I went on that season to capture the MVP award which would have been more impressive if the team didn’t go 0-8.  We were the first team in school history to not win a game. Hey, I guess that counts as a record.  Anyway, here is a pic of me as a 7th grader:

In 8th grade we got things turned around a little bit.  We finished a respectable 4-4 and I again took home the MVP honors at the end of the year.  I was at the top of my game.  I could even jump up and touch the rim in 8th grade which put me in very select company.  Michael Jordan, here I come.

After the season, there was a school-wide 1-on-1 contest and I was a heavy 8th grade favorite to win it all.  Somehow though, I took a crushing defeat from one of my friends, John Weidenaar, who barely even liked basketball.    The odds in Vegas of him beating me were probably 10,000 to 1 and he pulled it off (16-14) by somehow making all 8 shots he took in the short 4 minute game.  An 8th grader making every shot would be like a 10 year old running a 5 minute mile…it just doesn’t happen.  In my defense, he was 15 months older than me which in 8th grade was the equivalent of him being on steroids.  Cheater!  I didn‘t let that fluke shake my confidence.  I was ready for high school hoops but also interested in expanding into another sport…enter golf.

Actually, before golf, enter Putt-Putt.  I’m not kidding.  Putt-Putt…you know, miniature golf.  To be technically correct, Putt-Putt is actually a brand of miniature golf.  Kind of like how Chapstick is a brand of lip balm.  Anyway, while most normal people may have played Putt-Putt a few times in their life, I took it to another level.

My Dad and I started entering Putt-Putt tournaments every Tuesday night.  I used to practice my ass off so I could beat my Dad and hopefully do well in the tourneys.  Not only did I practice, but I even bought my own putter and official PPA (Professional Putters Association - not kidding) balls.  All the practice and proper equipment paid off.  I ended up winning the West Lafayette, Indiana Putt-Putt City Championships 3 years in a row when I was in 6th, 7th, and 8th grade.  I don’t like to brag (actually, I love bragging), but there were 3 divisions and I won Division 1 (the “elite” division) beating about 40 adults…including my Dad.  Thank you very much.  I won a trophy that was way, way too big for what it represented.  It was literally 3 feet tall.  Not many people have won gigantic Putt-Putt trophies in their life but I am one of them.

My best tournament round was 26 for 18 holes...think about that for a second.  That’s 10 hole-in-1s and 8 2s.  That’s pretty legit bro.  I even had my name on the “Top 10 Scoring Average” list that was posted on a big sign at the course.  I was as close to a celebrity as there was at the time.  If Facebook and Twitter had existed, I’m sure my Putt-Putting would have been a trending topic.

Anyway, I did start playing real golf in 7th grade as well.  My family had a par 3 course about a mile away from our house and we were able to buy a Family season pass on the course for $135.  How crazy is that?  $135 for our family of 4 to play any time we wanted to for a year.  It wasn’t until I moved to NYC later in life that I realized the same $135 would only get a round of drinks at a bar.

Anyway, with our season pass in hand, my brother and I used to play 36 holes a day in the summer.  My favorite golfing memory while I was in middle school?  My hole-in-1 of course!  I aced the par 3 (obviously, as all 18 holes were par 3s) 15th hole…a 125 yard 9-iron that landed past the pin and the backspin carried it back in the hole!  My brother was with me so it couldn’t have been more sweet.  To this day, it is still my only hole-in-1.  I’m sure my brother will bring up his hole-in-1 in the comments…I won’t describe it here but it suffices to say that it was easily the ugliest hole-in-1 in golf history.

High School (1991-1995)

With Soccer, Basketball, and Golf all taking up a considerable amount of time I decided to drop soccer in high school and focus on the other two sports.  I also started lifting weights seriously and ended up setting my high school bench press record for my weight class…275 pounds when I only weighed 170.  Totally meat.  The football coach took notice and often sent me letters in the mail with a very short message…”There is still time.”  It was awesome getting these notes but I still decided to pass on football and concentrate on basketball and golf.

Basketball:
In the 9th grade, I started for our Freshman “A” team.  We had a great team and tore through the season winning most of our games.  Heart break for me came though in a game against our cross-town rival, McCutcheon.  We were trailing 44-43 with 9 seconds left and I made a perfect cut down the lane.  My teammate threw a great bounce pass that hit me in stride and I had a lay-up opportunity for the game winner.  There was only one problem…I got my shot blocked and we lost by 1.  Ouch.  Maybe it was best that I didn’t get that shot back in 6th grade after all…here is a pic of me from that crazy game.  As you can see, the stands were often packed for Freshman games.

Anyway, other than that tough loss, it was a fairly uneventful season.  I did set the freshman free throw record at 83% which I guess is kind of cool.  Oh yeah, I almost forgot, my freshman year was also the time of my most embarrassing athletic moment.  Let me explain…

The Freshman team was required to sell tickets to the Varsity game.  At half-time of the game, 1 ticket would be drawn and that person got to go on the court and shoot a half-courter (for $50), a 3-pointer (for $25), a free-throw (for $10), and a lay-up (for $5).  In addition, whoever on our team sold the most tickets also would get a chance at the shots.

Well, my bull-dog sales mentality put me well ahead of everyone else in ticket sales so I got my chance to go out and show the crowd at the Varsity game what I had.  I started with the half-court shot and it bounced off the rim…no good.  I then took the 3-pointer and it was in-and-out.  My free throw then went off the back rim.  The only shot remaining was the lay-up.  I casually took a few dribbles, exploded to the rim, and blew the lay-up!  I’m not kidding…I missed every shot.  I fell to my knees in embarrassment.  I think I was the first person ever to miss every shot and I was supposed to be a really good player.  Horrible…I almost didn’t show up at school the next week.  I wanted to go into hiding…

My sophomore year was a big struggle.  Just as basketball season was starting, I got pushed from behind on a fast break during a practice scrimmage.  I ended up breaking a bone in my lower back (L-5) and was out for several months.  When the doctors finally cleared me to play, I was forced to wear a ridiculous back brace for an entire year…24 hours per day except in the shower.  The brace was a hard shell that went from my chest all the way down to my ass.  Still to this day, I can only sleep on my side as that was the only way that worked wearing the brace to sleep.

The summer before my Junior year, I had been working out with strength shoes and my leaping ability really improved.  I was finally healthy again and I dunked a basketball for the first time.  What an awesome feeling that was.  My vertical leap also paid off in the first game of my Junior season as I had a ridiculous block that I’ll never forget for 3 reasons:

First, I was called for a foul despite clearly not touching him.  Second, it was a big pic in the local paper the next day.  Third, the caption of the picture in the paper gave credit to my teammate instead of me!  Check out the pic…I’ve saved it all these years as I take the opportunity to show people as often as possible.

Not that you care, but my best game that year was 23 points and 11 rebounds and I also was awarded defensive MVP at the end of the year.  I was excited for my Sr. year but was forced to play the 4 (power forward) position at only 6’1”, 170 pounds.  Our team was athletic and quick but very small so I had to fill in where I could most help.  In one memorable game, I captured defensive player of the week after I “held” an opposing player to 39 points.  I still take shit for that.  Overall, we had another solid season and I again took home the defensive MVP honors at the end of the season.

Golf:
In golf, I improved drastically throughout my Freshman year and was playing on the Varsity team by the middle of the season.  I wasn’t great but good enough to be one of our top 5 players required to compete in Varsity meets.  As a sophomore, I improved a lot although playing with the brace from my broken back was quite the challenge.

My Junior year I won our Conference Championship shooting a 76 and I tied for third in our State sectional with a 74.  I was the #1 player on the team and took the MVP at the year-end ceremony.

As a Senior, I had several rounds under 75 including a 73 at our first Invitational of the year which took 2nd place out of more than 100 golfers.

The most agonizing round of my golfing career took place in Regionals of the state tournament that year.  I shot a 76 with a triple-bogey 7 of the par 4 10th hole.  It turns out that it took a 75 to advance to the State finals and I missed it by 1 stroke.  That is how my golf career ended…missing by 1 stroke.  It is still the most painful sports memory I have…

College (1995-2000)

In college, I pretty much gave up on golf.  I continued basketball though and was jumping out of the gym at this point.  My freshman year, I entered the Gus Macker Dunk Contest and made it to the finals.  Here is some video from a couple of my dunks.  I was known as “The Wizard.“  It’s not the best footage but should give you a sense for how easily I could dunk at the time.


I also played Purdue intramural basketball.  I was known on the Purdue intramural sports scene both for being good and for getting kicked out of an unbelievable amount of games for arguing with refs!

In one hoops game, I threw a pass that the defender lifted up his leg and clearly kicked.  I turned to the ref and said “aren’t you going to call the kick?“  He claimed he didn’t see it.  Next time down the court I rebounded the ball and literally punted the ball into the ceiling.  I turned to him and said “did you get a chance to see that kick?“  He not only kicked me out of the game but he kicked our whole team off the court.  Did I mention I’m fairly competitive?

Anyway, besides basketball, I also spent a lot of time in the gym.  I pretty much revolved my college years around getting in shape for Sprint Break in Cancun, Acapulco, etc.  I got my bench press up to 335 pounds and didn’t ever wear a t-shirt unless it was an extra small.  Here is a very blurry pic of me in a Hooters shirt from college at a party!

Man, I really miss my meat-head Creatine days…

Post-College (Working years and business school)

After college I chilled out a bit…I still lifted and played a decent amount of basketball but was also much more prone to injury.  In my first semester at Harvard Business School, I tore my LCL and PCL in my left knee in flag football.  I’m not sure which is more embarrassing…not being able to skip in Kindergarten or tearing my knee apart and having an ambulance have to come on the field in a coed intramural HBS flag football game.

Later that same year as a first-year in B-school, I tore my right groin in intramural basketball.  I don’t have much to say about it except it really sucked.

Since those injuries, I can no longer just step on a basketball court and start playing.  I’m like Woody Harrelson in White Men Can’t Jump doing awkward stretches on the sidelines before starting to play.

I hate to admit it, but I started to feel “old.”

Back to Today

Over the last several years,  I’ve probably touched my golf clubs on average once or twice a year.  I rarely touch a basketball.  I can’t remember the last time I played soccer.  I’ve maintained a good workout schedule but that just involved weight training for upper body…never any legs.

Finally at the end of 2011, I decided to make a change.  Some people like to look back on life and say “I wouldn’t change a thing.  I have no regrets.”  I don’t fall into that camp.  There is plenty I would change.

I never should have stopped playing soccer.  Given I did, I should have at least tried football.  I should have kept up with my golf game after high school.  The list goes on and on and there is nothing I can do about the past.

There is, however, something I can do about the present and that’s why I started Schmeis35for35.  While my body feels old in some respects, I still feel like I have a lot I can accomplish athletically and I miss the challenges that only Sports can bring.

I very carefully structured my list of 35 to include some things more in line with my past (basketball, golf, and weightlifting) while bringing completely new activities into the mix.  You probably noticed I have no swimming, biking, running (except Kindergarten Tag), or Triathlon background and those things make up nearly half of the 35 goals.  The list is truly a combination of the old and the new.

As I finished celebrating my 35th this week with my last beer, I took comfort knowing I was giving it all another shot…and I know I’ll have no regrets about that.

Happy 35th Birthday to Me.

Schmeis

My 114 Degree Problem

The anticipation leading up to my Triathlon in Muncie, Indiana was incredible.  

I’d just spent the last 9 weeks reflecting on my first Half Ironman at White Lake and many of the memories weren’t pretty.  That day was a ridiculous mental and physical challenge that filled me with a range of emotions; I can’t imagine too many events in life that can create both a rewarding feeling and a feeling of emptiness at the same time. 

In a sense, White Lake was rewarding just to cross the finish line.  After all, I did it despite the distance being 5 times longer than any race I had ever done, despite it being 95 degrees, despite the extreme humidity, and despite severely cramping for the last several miles on the run. 

In another sense though, I felt empty…like I didn’t really accomplish anything at all.  It seems the feeling of missing my goal of finishing in less than 6 hours dwarfed the reward. 

This time around was going to be different.  After missing my goal at White Lake on May 5th, I got online and immediately registered for Half Ironman Muncie, Indiana on July 7^th.  I also immediately made a guarantee to myself and to all of you: 

I was going to finish this one in less than 6 hours.   

Nothing was going to stop me this time.  To say I was determined would be an understatement.  Not only is finishing a Half Ironman in less than 6 hours one of my Schmeis35for35 goals, but I felt like I had unfinished business racing a Triathlon at that distance. 

In preparation for Muncie, I was running, biking, and swimming harder than ever and even studying the course online to make sure I knew exactly what to expect.  Anything within my control that could possibly go wrong, I wasn’t going to let happen. 

As an example, I made a checklist at the end of June (~10 days before the race) of all the items I was bringing with me.  There was no real reason to gather stuff so early (especially considering I’ve been a huge procrastinator all my life), but I wasn’t leaving anything to chance.  I made the list, packed my stuff, then double, triple, and quadruple checked what I had packed.  I think the final count of how many times I checked my equipment was 12,937.  Here is a pic of all my stuff before loading it in the car:

Ok, so it may have been overkill to pack backup goggles and backup goggle straps to both pairs of goggles, but that should give you a sense of the planning I did for this event.  I’m sure there was at least a 1 in 749 billion chance that all those straps would break on race day so I needed to be ready.  I love a good contingency plan. 

With my bags packed, let’s pick up the action a few days before the race and take it from there…

The Road Trip

While I was very excited for the race, I wasn’t terribly excited about the drive to get there.  A 10 hour drive is never fun, but I was even more concerned for Sue.   Now 7 months pregnant, it wasn’t clear how she would hold up driving cross country.

Our plan was to leave our house in North Carolina after work on Tuesday, July 3^rd and stop at the half way point for the night before finishing the next morning.  It’s not a terrible drive…North Carolina, then Virginia, West Virginia, Ohio, and Indiana.  There’s also plenty to see along the way…beautiful mountains, rivers and lakes, and the occasional West Virginian who had his teeth.

Sue held up relatively well except needing to stop for the bathroom every 2 minutes.  She also had some strong feelings related to dinner.  While I was just looking for a Subway, Quiznos, McDonalds, or something that was very quick, Sue had a different plan. 

“I want Outback Steakhouse” she said. 

Talk about random.  Has anyone in their life ever had Outback Steakhouse on a road trip?  I chalked it up to month 7 of the pregnancy talking.

Anyway, I somehow became the first male to ever win an argument with a 7 month pregnant female as I convinced her that we may not be able to find an Outback that easily right off the interstate. 

I was also thinking we should just push straight through and try to get to Indiana that night.  It seemed pointless to pay for a hotel room for a few hours when it really wasn’t that far of a drive.  Plus, I knew she could sleep easily in the car anyway and I could just drive the rest of the way.

My plan was rock solid except I got pulled over in Ohio for speeding at 2:00am.  Long story but let’s just say I didn’t agree with the officer on anything she said.  Remarkably, I mostly kept my mouth shut (not exactly one of my strengths) but she still hit me with a ticket. 

Well done on the plan, Schmeis.  Instead of paying $100 for a hotel, I saved that money and paid $253 for a speeding ticket.  My MBA from Harvard Business School taught me that the ROI on my decision to drive a few extra few hours wasn’t good.  Thank you, HBS.

Finally, at about 4:00am, we were within a few miles of my brother’s house in Carmel where we were staying.  There was basically nobody on the road but I happened to drive through an area where the speed limit was reduced to 30.  I saw a car coming the other direction towards me and I was probably going 43 or 44 at the time (which seemed ridiculously slow when you’ve been on interstates for 10 hours).  Sure enough, it was another cop and he flipped on his lights/sirens as I drove by.  Awesome…twice in 2 hours.  That hotel room a few hundred miles back was looking better and better.

Unbelievably though, he turned on his lights, slammed on his brakes to turn around, and then NEVER came to get me.  I don’t know if he was just warning me with the lights, if he got a call about some crime being committed exactly at that time, or what.  Just in case though, I’d like to give a shout out to whomever called 911 at that moment…I love you.

We got to my brother’s house around 4:30am and went straight to bed.  After a good night’s sleep, the next few days were spent stretching, hydrating, playing with my nephews, and waiting for the race to start. 

By Friday, I was so ready for Saturday morning.  Every time I checked the weather though, it seemed the forecast was calling for hotter and hotter temperatures on race day.  Accuweather was forecasting an all-time record in Muncie with a heat index of 114.  114?  Is that even possible?  That makes the 95 degree heat at White Lake seem rather chilly.  I was a bit nervous given my cramping from last time, but I was still confident in what I had to do.

Later that day and just 15 hours before the race was to begin, an announcement was made from Ironman Race Officials:

IRONMAN 70.3 Muncie Athletes,

Due to an Excessive Heat Warning issued by The National Weather Service, tomorrow’s IRONMAN 70.3Muncie has been shortened for safety reasons. The forecast calls for “record breaking high temperatures” with potential heat index readings between 107 and 114 degrees Fahrenheit, the highest temperatures the event has seen in its more than 30-year history. 

 This pretty much crushed me.  I needed to get this 6 hour monkey off my back and now I wouldn’t even get the chance. 

In a previous post of mine on luck vs. skill, many of you commented on the very common definition of success…when preparation meets opportunity.  Well, I was prepared.  I had done my part but now the opportunity was gone.  Not a good feeling.

After a few minutes of thinking about it, my mindset quickly changed.  I was obviously disappointed, but I still had a race to do.  The event was still going to be a 1 mile swim, 30 mile bike ride, and 6.2 mile run in 114 degree heat.  It was still the 2^nd longest race I had ever done. It was still going to be a huge challenge to complete another of my 35 goals of averaging more than 20 mph on the bike for 15 straight miles.

Obviously, none of this was going to be easy.  Even still, I adjusted my biking goal in my mind and decided I was going to try to do the entire 30 mile bike portion of the race in over 20 mph.

Race Day

My brother, Sue, and I arrived at the event site by 4:45am.  It was nearly 80 degrees and humid and it wasn’t even 5 in the morning.  I was beginning to think it wasn’t a terrible idea that they shortened this thing. 

After parking, setting up my transition area, etc., I headed down to the reservoir for a quick warm-up swim. 

As I got out, I got a huge boost of adrenaline and motivation from 2 unexpected sources.  I saw my high school basketball coach and a former teammate standing by the starting line.  It was absolutely awesome.  I stopped to chat with them and found out my coach turns 50 next year so he was checking out the race for one of his goals in 2013…very cool.  Triathlons are really catching on everywhere. 

Here is a pic of my coach (white shirt) and me apparently saying something very funny to my former high school teammate, Josh Whitman (black shirt). 

If you’re thinking that he is a large man, you’d be correct.  He went on to play football at Illinois after high school and even played in the NFL for a bit…it’s no Schmeis35for35 but not bad!

Anyway, a few minutes later, my age group was about to start the swim so I put my game face on.

Instead of describing the race in painful detail this time around, I’m going to share video that my brother took of me throughout the race.  I think you’ll really like the video as it gives you a good sense for all the different portions of the race and it also allows me to be lazy and not write as much.  Check it out:

As I mention about 10 times in the video, I lost my watch on the swim as another racer got his hand caught in my band when he was making a stroke and ripped it off.  Somewhere at the bottom of the reservoir there is a very nice Garmin 310XT Triathlon watch.  That sucked.

On the bike though, I was very pleased and the run was pretty uneventful.  It was difficult and I cramped a bit at the end, but I kept pretending my high school coach was yelling at me to run harder so that did the trick.  Thanks Coach V

So there you have it!  I finished the 1 mile swim, 30 mile bike, and 6.2 mile run in 3 hours and 2 minutes.  Here are the results that you can find at www.ironmanmuncie.com  Click on the photo below to enlarge it.

The crazy thing looking at these results is just how good some of the people are.  I thought I did pretty well but only finished 702^nd out of about 1600.  


Even on the bike, I was very pumped to make my goal of averaging over 20 mph (I averaged 21.74 mph) but I still was only 698^th fastest for that portion of the race. 

Because this was an Ironman branded race, it attracts talent from all over the world.  In fact, even the chick who won the Ironman World Championships in Hawaii in 2010 was in the race…Mirinda Carfrae.  You don’t get Ironman World Champions in local events in North Carolina.  She edged me out by the slimmest of margins…45 minutes!  


One of the coolest things about these high profile races is you can see exactly how you stack up against the best in the world on the same course, same weather, etc.  Here is a picture of Mirinda finishing the run.

Sorry, I had to throw a pic of a World Champion on my blog.  It definitely makes me feel much more legit.

So where do I go from here?  Well, after getting an opportunity taken from me this time around, I’m giving it another go at finishing in less than 6 hours at a Half Ironman in North Carolina on September 23.  I’ve also got the ultimate challenge on October 20th when I’m registered for the main event…all 2.4 miles of the swim, 112 miles on the bike, and 26.2 miles on the run…the full Ironman.

I don’t want any of this to be easy, but I do want the opportunity.

Schmeis

Handing Out Mid-Year Awards: "and the Schmeisy Goes to..."

As June 30^th came and went, so did the midpoint of the 2012 Schmeis35for35 calendar.  Nearly 200 days have passed since my first post and I’ve put in 1621 miles on the bike, 294 miles on the run, and 63 miles in the water.  I’ve also driven more than 1000 miles to different venues to attempt my 35 goals.  All told, that’s ~3000 miles of effort or the equivalent of crossing the US from New York to LA. 

I’ve worked out 159 of 198 days (>80%) since I launched the blog and the only off days have been for rest, tapering for races, or recovering from chugging beer!  Sure, I’ve only actually achieved 7 of my 35 goals, but I’ve got plenty of time…I’m just getting started.

Anyway, just as any company would do a mid-year review, I think it’s only appropriate that I do a review and hand out some mid-year awards as we reflect back on the journey so far. 

First came the Emmys…then came the ESPYs…and now we have the Schmeisys! 

Our celebrity MC for this evening will be me.  You all will play the role of audience obligated to laugh at my jokes.  Let’s get started…

Schmeis:  “You know what they say the difference is between a Blogger and a Pitbull?  One is a person who types things on his computer and the other is a really mean dog!  Ha! It was a trick question!”

Audience:  "Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!"

Let’s introduce tonight’s first Schmeisy…

Schmeisy #1:  Best Looking Male Standing on Top of a Rock - …and the Schmeisy goes to…Schmeis for this pic in the Virgin Islands in April!

Wow, great start by me for the evening.  I’m glad to get one under my belt.  I was worried when this picture was taken that it was a bad angle but I think this award proves I HAVE NO BAD ANGLES.  Thank you to all the ugly people out there…without you, I would be less good looking.

Moving right along…

Schmeisy #2:  Most Inspiring Performance – and the Schmeisy goes to…my Mom for her incredible time in the Carmel half Marathon!…truly an amazing performance. 

I don’t think I know a harder worker than my Mom.  When she puts her mind to something she finishes it and this was no exception.  She blew away her goal time for the 13.1 miles.  I’ll be thinking about that when the Ironman rolls around for me in October. 

Unfortunately, my mom couldn’t be with us tonight.  She’s busy being retired.  I’m assuming she would have said something like this though:  “Michael, hi sweetie.  I love you.  You truly are the greatest son in the world.  Yes, even if I include your brother.”

Thanks Mom, I couldn’t agree more.

Schmeisy #3:  Craziest Mother Nature Moment - …and the Schmeisy goes to…the Japan Earthquake that hit during my Asia trip. 

For those who missed it, here was a portion of my blog post from that day in March…

I got to the Tokyo hotel around 7pm and checked into my room on the 27^th floor.  I was absolutely exhausted so ended up flipping mindlessly through channels on the TV before bed.  It seemed on most channels, the only thing I could find was continuous coverage of the insane Earthquake and tsunami footage from 2011.  Almost a year ago to the day was the monster 9.0 quake that hit Japan…this was the anniversary.

Unbelievably, I fell asleep around 9pm my first night in Japan and was woken shortly after by my room shaking violently.  The glass of water by my bedside table fell to the floor and a loud rumbling filled the air.  I tried to stand up and realized the entire Hilton was literally swaying back and forth to the point it was difficult to stand.  It was an Earthquake…and a big one. 

My room was on the 27^th floor with a view overlooking Tokyo.  It had full wall windows and I was staring out to the city as the Hilton was rocking back and forth.  I could clearly hear screaming from around the hotel…people were freaking out.  Now, I’ve been in several earthquakes before and they’ve got my attention, but I’ve never felt threatened.  This time was completely different…I was petrified.

The swaying and shaking literally went on for over 3 minutes.  If that doesn’t seem like much, count to 180 slowly while being several hundred feet in the air thinking the building you’re in is going to collapse…let me know what 3 minutes feels like then.  I didn’t know whether to try to make it out of the building, somehow find cover, or what.  Getting in an elevator didn’t seem like a great idea but the thought of trying to run down 27 flights of stairs didn’t make much sense either.  I was basically just frozen. 

Finally, it all stopped.  Silence was followed by the sound of sirens a few seconds later.  I don’t get easily freaked out by anything (one of my self-proclamations is that I would be the world’s greatest Fear Factor competitor) but this did it.  It scared me…a lot. 

By the way, it turned out to be a magnitude 6.9 quake…ridiculous.  But hey, I lived, so no biggie…plus, it turned into another Schmeisy!

Schmeisy #4:  Most Likely to Go from Blogger to the NFL -  and the Schmeisy goes to…Schmeis again! 

Let’s take a look back at my meat head performance benching 225 pounds and the comparison with NFL players that I did at the time. 

13!!!!!  For some perspective, I decided to look up the 2011 NFL combine results to see how I stacked up.  About 300 college guys participated but several don’t actually do the bench.  Quarterbacks, kickers, injured people, etc. all don’t usually participate but there is still a lot of data to sort through from those that did give it a go.  Let’s start with the running backs:  46 participated.  Max # of 225 reps was 32 by Anthony Sherman of Connecticut.  The least?  11!!! Ha!!  I literally beat Roy Helu of Nebraska by 2 reps at 225 lbs.  That’s so great.  I have no idea how that is even possible.  I’m embarrassed for the state of Nebraska.  Considering I haven’t even tried to bench 225 for over a year, I’m going to declare this one as pretty freaking awesome.

Also, as a general rule of thumb, I find anytime I can market myself as being as strong as some NFL players it’s a good idea so there was no way I wasn’t working this into the Schmeisys…

Schmeisy #5: Iron Chef Award for Best Cook – As much as I’d like to continue giving myself awards, I just don’t think my toast with peanut butter is going to cut it for this category.  


This Schmeisy goes to my Wife, Sue, who has not only managed to cook incredibly yummy meals, but also makes them really healthy.  Nutrition is a huge factor for me making my goals this year and without Sue it definitely wouldn’t be possible. 

I thought about posting a picture of the great meals she makes, but then I remembered that very few things annoy me more than people posting pictures of what they eat on Facebook.

Anyway, Sue, a big THANK YOU from your husband and winner of multiple Schmeisys, Schmeis.  As some motivation for you to continue, let me remind you that there has never been a 2-time winner of this award but I think you have what it takes to win again in 2013 if you keep it up…

Schmeisy #6:  Most Memorable Moment –  and the Schmeisy goes to…finding out there was going to be a little Schmeis! 

Competition was really stiff for this Schmeisy.  The earthquake in Japan and crossing the finish line in my first half Ironman were both worthy contenders but neither came close to this moment.  How could this award go to anything other than learning I was going to be a Dad? 

I keep thinking how funny it’s going to be when the little guy will be able to look back at what his dad was trying to do the year he was born.  I’m hoping he’ll get inspired and start dominating preschool tag games or something. 

As for his name, I’m happy to report that Sue and I have come to agreement.  After hiring some linear programmers from India and some PhD statisticians to create the appropriate Venn Diagrams, we came up with a name that sat perfectly at the intersection between all my naming principles.  I can’t tell you the name but I can give you a hint…it’s not Addison Spencer Schmeiser.

Schmeisy #7:  Best Motivational Moment  - and the Schmeisy goes to…seeing my Mom and pregnant wife holding this sign for me with 6.5 miles left to go in my first Half Ironman!

Let’s take a look back at a blog excerpt from “Where Does Motivation Come From?” that helps explain everything.  We’ll start in the middle of the post where I have just laid out 12 potential sources of motivation:

·         Pride

·         Shit-Talking

·         Nature

·         Blogs

·         Dreams

·         Targets

·         Snowball

·         Under-promise

·         Over-deliver

·         Accountability

·         Experiences

·         You Tube 

I am a big fan of structure so maybe I can take the first letter of each of these 12 items and come up with a cool acronym.  That seems to be a good trick I’ve seen used before.  Ok, let’s take a look at the first letters and see what we’ve got to work with…this should be fun:

PSNBDTSUOAEY

Give me a second here to play around with the letters.  On a related note, I may be one of the world’s top Scrabble players.  I know this because I can consistently beat my mom.  Ok, the first possibility just hit me:

NASTY DOPE BUS


“NASTY DOPE BUS” makes a lot of sense since a dope bus would probably be nasty.  It has a good ring to it but I’m not sure how easily I can tie it to motivation.  Let’s move on to another possibility:

BUSY NOTEPADS

I absolutely love “BUSY NOTEPADS” as an acronym except for the fact that notepads tend not to be busy at all.  In fact, most notepads I have tend to just sit on my desk and wait around for me to write something on them.  Notepads just don’t really strike me as having a terribly hectic lifestyle so they can’t be BUSY.  Clearly, this one is out…Next!:

NUDE POSSY TAB

Hmmmm, the word “nude” is always fun to use but there are lots of problems with this one.  First, I’m pretty sure POSSY isn’t spelled correctly and I’m a stickler for grammar and spelling.  Also, while I would think a posse would drink a lot of beer and therefore have a TAB, I rarely see a NUDE posse at a bar so having a NUDE POSSY TAB just seems too far-fetched for me.  This one’s out.  Damn, this is tough. 

I think I’ve got it!!!!:

DON’T BE A PUSSY

Let’s face it, this one is brilliant…definitely the winner…pure gold.  Said in other ways, DON’T BE A PUSSY means just get it done…stop wimping out…no excuses.  It’s a perfect reminder of what to tell yourself when you’re not feeling motivated.  You can focus on Dreaming, Over-delivering, Nature, Targets, Blogs, Experiences, Accountability, Pride, Under-promising, Sh*t-talking, Snowballs,  and You Tube or you can just put it all together as you start your own goals for 2012 and remember:  DON’T BE A PUSSY.

Yes, this Schmeisy was an easy one as there isn’t anything more motivating than your pregnant wife and mother yelling at you to not be a pussy.  Thanks Sue and Mom!

Schmeisy #8:  Chameleon Award- and the Schmeiy goes to…Schmeis for looking like a great Triathlete without actually being one!

Check out this pics…tell me I don't look the part of a great triathlete... 

but the comparison vs. Lance Armstrong makes it pretty clear I’m not exactly that good.

Schmeisy #9:  Schmeiser Traveling Trophy for Winner of the Brother Battle – and the Schmeisy goes to….Bryan Schmeiser!

My first half Ironman at White Lake was absolutely brutal.  It was 95 degrees and humid…the hottest day in North Carolina of the year at the time.  My brother did the race with me and we battled against each other for 6 hours.  We both cramped horribly but he ended up beating me by 19 minutes.  It kills me, but I have to give credit where credit is due…Bryan, this Schmeisy is for you. 

Schmeisy #10:  Joe Namath Award for best guarantee – and the Schmeisy goes to…Schmeis for his guarantee that he’ll do Half Ironman Muncie in less than 6 hours!

I cramped so severely in the last few miles of White Lake that I literally had tears in my eyes as I finally crossed the finish line.  I missed my goal of finishing in less than 6 hours by 10 minutes.  Here was a pic from right after the race.

I was crushed but my reaction the next day was simple:  I looked for another race to get on the calendar and then guaranteed I would finish Half Ironman Muncie, Indiana on July 7 in less than 6 hours.

You probably noticed that July 7 is 2 days away.  Sue and I just drove to Indiana from North Carolina and I’m all set for the race on Saturday.

The only problem is it’s supposed to be 100 degrees which would tie the all-time record high set in 1977.  I start at 8am and it’s going to be 80 already when I start.  By the time I hit the run, it will be 100 with a Heat Index of nearly 110.  This is insane.  Of course, exactly was the case at White Lake, the following days after my race are supposed to be 20 degrees cooler and less humid.  


It's going to be hotter and the course is much more hilly this time around than my attempt 2 months ago at White Lake but I'm sticking to my guarantee.

Wrapping up the Schmeisys:


Overall, an incredible performance by me tonight.  I took home 5 of the 10 Schmeisys and couldn’t be more pleased.  I feel like Avatar at the Oscars. 

Now I just need to get back on track checking off goals.  I’m hoping to kill 2 goals with one race on Saturday by finishing in less than 6 hours and averaging more than 20 mph on the bike. 

Like last time, you’ll be able to follow me live.  Please go to www.ironman.com during the race where there will be a link at the top of the page to follow racers live.  If the link isn’t there, look for the Ironman Muncie link and go from there.  I’m BIB number 1307 or you can look me up by typing in “Schmeiser.”  As I start at 8am EST, I need to finish by 2pm to break 6 hours.


If I do that, something tells me I'll deserve another Schmeisy at the end of the year.

Schmeis