Infecting the Family: Schmeis35for35 is Contagious!

Growing up, I wanted to win everything.  Actually, I wanted to dominate everything.  I wanted to win, rub it in your face, and then do it all over again.  I’m really not sure where this came from as I never really considered my family to be terribly competitive.  My parents and older brother were generally very reserved.  Sure, my dad might get into a good game of Scrabble, but he certainly wasn’t going to get into a heated argument on the basketball court if he thought the score wasn’t right.  On the other hand, I would fight to the death if I felt I was being cheated out of a point.  Here are some quick memories of my family’s competitive spirit (or lack thereof) from my childhood:

• My brother preferred collecting insects over playing sports as a kid.  No, that’s not a typo…he really enjoyed collecting and identifying random insects.  He was probably the only person in the world when assigned to complete an insect collection for Science class already had about 47 of them to choose from.

•  The first day my mom and I learned to ski, we saw 3 year olds gracefully glide down the slopes while we struggled to stay on our feet.  My mom wanted to quit as she thought she could never be as good as a 3 year old.  I wanted to head to the top of the mountain as I thought there is no way a 3 year old should be better than me.

• While most parents would yell and scream at high school basketball games, my dad would remain calm at all times.  If there was an obvious missed call at the end of a game, my dad would say logically “the referee was closer to the play than me and therefore was probably right.”  A rational response, maybe, but not exactly the typical response of a killer instinct.

I could also talk about my wife who is extremely driven, but very laid back and generally not looking to compete at most things.  I often think Sue gets more joy out of seeing me win than she gets out of winning herself.  It’s a very admirable quality but one I definitely do not possess.

As you can see, my family doesn’t have a history of fierce competitiveness.   Over the last few months though, I’ve noticed a general shift in their fire with an inflection point being reached this past weekend.  Let’s take a look at what happened:

My brother and mom ran the 13.1 mile half marathon in Carmel, Indiana.  My dad was busy competing with his volleyball team in the Ohio Senior Olympics.  Sue, who couldn’t swim a year ago, spent hours improving her stroke by taking an all-day triathlon swimming clinic.  As recently as a year ago, I wouldn’t have imagined any of those things happening and now they all took place in 1 weekend!

It’s really crazy to think how far the family has come in the competition department…a transformation from just going through the motions to completing impressive feats.  What’s the single biggest factor?  I think it’s having clearly defined goals. 

After I started Schmeis35for35, my parents decided they needed to have some athletic goals as well.  Sue jumped on board with some goals of her own.  My brother already had a few but has definitely ramped up the intensity.  Can goals alone be the reason for the sudden shift in competitive fire? 

Let’s start with my brother.  As I mentioned in my last post, he finished 24^th out of over 800 in his first Triathlon of the year and then did a Half Marathon this past weekend.  Does this look like someone who used to only enjoy collecting insects?  

Jeez.  Amazing what happens when you have goals.  He wants to make it to the Xterra National Championships (a Triathlon with lake swim, mountain bike, and trail run that Lance Armstrong competes in) and is working ridiculously hard to get there.  It would be a rare opportunity to see exactly how he stacks up against the best.  Competing against the best is something I never thought he would care about but he is now obsessed with.

How about my mom?  She has walked consistently for the last 20 years but never had any goals or targets related to walking.  After seeing my list of 35for35, she came up with some of her own, including completing a half marathon in less than 3 hours.  For Christmas, Sue and I got her a GPS watch so she could tell how far she walks and at what speeds.  Suddenly, she went from walking without a purpose to trying to beat her personal records.  Her pace has been dropping from ~20 minutes per mile when she started to 19, 18, 17, etc.  Completing the 13.1 mile Half Marathon in 3 hours is equivalent to doing 13.7 minutes per mile which was a lofty goal given where she started.

This past Saturday she had her first chance to reach the goal.  It was a chilly morning and she was incredibly nervous for her first race.  Like any race rookie, she was concerned she hadn’t trained enough, wasn’t going to be able to finish, etc.  My brother ran along her side to help with pacing and keep her confidence high.  Can you believe she came in at 2 hours and 49 minutes?!?  That’s 11 minutes faster than her already lofty goal.  Check out a few pics:

I’m incredibly proud of her and how far she’s come.  Later that day I asked her if she was ready for a full marathon and she seemed iffy.  The next day though, she was telling people she thinks she can do a full marathon in 5 hours!  I love it…getting cocky on us!  Glad to see I’m rubbing off on you, Mom.  I think it all started with having goals.

How about my Dad?  Well, his team finished 1^st out of 6 teams in the volleyball portion of the Ohio Senior Olympics.  He has a written goal of finishing in the top 3 at the Senior National Volleyball tournament in Utah later this year.  He’s played volleyball forever, but I can’t remember him ever articulating clear goals related to volleyball until recently.  It’s really awesome to see.

To be fair, Schmeis35for35 can’t take all the credit here but the concept of setting goals clearly still applies.  I have an Uncle in his 60s who has been doing pushups every morning since 1986.  He has missed only 2 days in 26 years of doing this…that’s nearly 10,000 days and he’s only missed 2!  You don’t pull that off without some serious competitive juices and sticking to your goals.  To this day, he can still do 90 push-ups in a row…that’s ridiculously impressive for a 21 year old, let alone someone in his 60s.

I could also point to my grandparents.  They are walking machines.  At ages 90 and 87, they still walk consistently to this day.  My grandmother recently broke her pelvis in a fall and it was questionable initially whether she would walk again.  Well, don’t tell her that because she pushed her way through the pain and built her strength back. 

When she was in the hospital last year, the doctor said she couldn’t leave until completing a specific walking route in the hospital.  When I first talked to her, I said I was only going to call her home phone on Christmas Day to say Merry Christmas…I refused to call the hospital.  She could either be out of the hospital and home by Christmas Day or miss my call.  Well, my Grandma wasn’t going to miss my phone call so she worked extra hard and accomplished her goal and made it out of the hospital before Christmas!

Goals matter…that’s the message.  No matter what your age and in what aspect of life you want something, they matter. 

While my family was busy with their goals this past weekend, I was playing golf trying to achieve some of my golfing goals.  I stayed in Pinehurt, NC (home of a few US Open golf tournaments) at a little bed and breakfast with my friends.  This sign was at check in:

My friends and I loved that sign.  The hotel was filled with people who looked “old” in the traditional sense but had life coming out of their ears.  They were chipping golf balls in the hotel lobby, laughing, drinking, and telling stories in the bar, etc.  They looked like they still had a lot they wanted to accomplish in life.

It truly is amazing what the power of written goals combined with support from friends/family and a competitive spark can do for you both mentally and physically.  Goals can make an old person young and a weak person strong. 

Having goals makes it clear how to move forward.  If you’re not moving forward, I guess that means you’re going backwards or standing still…and that’s not a good way to win a race.

Schmeis