Why Are Some People Never Satisfied?

One of my favorite things to do these days is tackle questions that clearly have no right answer.  I also thoroughly enjoy using my 0 hours of Philosophy and Psychology background to speak authoritatively on questions where both disciplines would be extremely beneficial.

So given I’m admitting there really isn’t a right answer and I have no formal training in how to think about it, why do I feel the need to write about why some people are never satisfied?

Simple…this question spans nearly all aspects of life from jobs to relationships to athletics and I was a bit perplexed when I didn’t feel satisfied after my solid race performance last weekend.   

We’ve all been there.  You’ve got a good job that you’re satisfied with overall, but wonder whether you should start the business that’s been in the back of your mind.  Maybe you’re dating someone and things are going well but you’re not sure how well things should be going before you’re ready to pop the question. 

Or maybe you just finished a Sprint Triathlon and met your goal of finishing in the top 15% but somehow that didn’t make you feel satisfied.  That’s the situation I’m in and I’ve started to wonder why…

After all, I set out as part of Schmeis35for35 to finish in the top 15% in a Sprint Tri and I finally did it.  Shouldn’t I feel great?  I just accomplished another one of my goals and I’m now up to 7 out of 35 complete. 

On the surface, it seems I should feel extremely satisfied but I found any hint of satisfaction lasted only a few seconds and quickly turned to disappointment that I didn’t do even better. 

Let’s walk through a summary of my race and then revisit the satisfaction question.

The Swim

It all started with a short 250 yards in a pool.  As always, participants were asked to submit their 100 meter swim time so that race organizers could seed everyone from fastest to slowest and prevent log jams created by slower swimmers. 

The seeding process is great in theory but ridiculous in practice.  The basic problem is that racers don’t have an incentive to tell the truth; they only have an incentive to make sure they don’t get stuck behind a slower swimmer.  As a result, I find that many people blatantly lie about how fast they swim just so they don’t get stuck behind slow pokes. 

Of course, the downside of lying doesn’t impact the swimmer who lies but instead impacts all the other swimmers who get held up.  These people are the worst…it’s like the clueless people boarding airplanes that stand in the middle of the aisle and don’t realize they’re holding up the entire plane from boarding.

I was seeded 62nd out of 420 based on the time I submitted.  Just before the start, person #60 said to me “hey man, you look like you’re really fast.  I’m worried you may catch me.”  I asked how fast he expected to swim the 250 yards and he said 4:15 which was literally 40 seconds slower than what I expected to go.  He then said he exaggerated a bit when submitting his time.  No dude, you didn’t exaggerate…you lied your ass off. 

Anyway, at 7:30am the race started and the #1 seed swimmer was released followed every 12 seconds by the rest of the field one at a time.  After the first 61 people, it was finally my turn and I went out blazing.  At the 60 yard mark, I already passed the person in front of me who started with a 12 second lead.  By the 125 yard mark, I passed the idiot who told me I looked fast.  Keep in mind, this Michael Phelps wannabe started 24 seconds before me. He was basically swimming in the middle of the lane making it difficult to go by but I essentially just swam over him. 

By the end, I had passed 3 people when the whole purpose of the seeding process is to avoid the need to pass anyone.  I exited the pool in 3:40 and crossed the timing mat a few seconds later at 3:55.  It’s completely ridiculous that I had to pass 3 people over a swim that was less than 4 minutes long. 

I think they should penalize racers retroactively on their overall time if they don’t swim within a range of the time submitted.  Maybe this would clean up the issue.

Anyway, my swim time ended up being 40^th fastest of the day out of the 420 racers but would have clearly been even better if I didn’t have to maneuver my way around the liars. 

The Bike

After a quick run through the transition area, I threw on my sunglasses, helmet, and biking shoes and took off.  I absolutely hammered on the bike.  My legs felt really strong and I was in attack mode for the entire 14 miles of the ride.  Here's a pic:

The first half of the course was into the wind and slightly uphill but I was still cruising.  I saw riders ahead of me and I was determined to make up time and pass them.  One by one I started catching the leaders in front of me and then blowing right by.  

As I approached, I was talking out loud to myself in pure meat head style saying things like “this dude better be in good shape or I’m going right by.”  A few seconds later when I closed the gap and made the pass, I would say things under my breath like… “You may want to hit the gym.”  Clearly, I’ll do anything to motivate myself.

I’m not sure why, but I love the feeling I get when passing someone and acting as if I’m not even working that hard.  It demoralizes them but makes me smile.  Sometimes I like to say “good job” to people as I pass.  They don’t know I’m being sarcastic. 

By the end of the ride, I had passed more than 25 people and hadn’t been passed once.  I ended up going 37:33 for a 14 mile bike ride…averaging 22.4 miles per hour which was good for 28^th fastest out of the 420 on the day.

My time for the bike was by far my best ever for that distance so there’s no doubt my 4-5 hours per week of cycling are paying off.  Based on my crazy improvements, I’m half-expecting the US Doping Agency to press charges against me…

The Run

I hopped off the bike, put on my running shoes, and off I went on the run.  I knew I was having a great race and only had a 5k run standing between me and my goal of a top 15% finish overall.  I studied the course online before the race (if you remember, some dude told me to go the wrong direction on the run last time) so I was sure nothing like that would happen again.

I started out the first mile at about 7:50/mile pace thinking I would turn it on at the end.  One by one though, people from behind started catching up and going by.  I wasn’t running that slowly but there were clearly some really strong runners who were sustaining better than 7 minute / mile pace.  I wanted to go faster but my legs wouldn’t allow it.  I basically kept my pace through the whole 5k but never had the kick at the end I was hoping for.

I finished the run in 24:35, a 7:55/mile pace but only 138^th best time of the day…pretty weak performance by me on the run for sure.

The Proof

Overall, my time for the entire race was 1:08:42, which was 52^nd out of 420 and good enough for top 12.4% so I made my goal of top 15%.  

Just to get the proof out of the way, below is a link with the official race results.  If you remember, for each of the 35 goals I achieve, I either need video evidence, a link to official race results, or a witness.  For triathlons, the easiest is to just post the official results so here you go:

http://www.fsseries.com/uploads/6162012203739_3ps_tri_overall.pdf

Back to the Question

I almost forgot why I started this post…I was supposed to write about why some people are never satisfied.  I’ll offer up 4 potential explanations and then see which apply to why I didn’t feel satisfied with my performance.

Explanation 1:  The goal was set too easy, so never felt like an accomplishment when achieved

The race on Saturday was my 6^th Sprint Triathlon.  Check out the results:

As you can see, before I started Schmeis35for35, I had only cracked the top 30% overall once in a race.  Given that, setting a goal of top 15% was fairly aggressive so I’m pretty sure the goal wasn’t too easy.   I’m going to rule this out.

Explanation 2:  A subset of the performance caused the dissatisfaction

This one clearly played a part in how I felt.  While I was pleased with the bike and swim, my run was terrible.  I have yet to put a complete race together where I felt like I was at the top of my game in all 3 sports. 

Sometimes in life, it’s easy to focus too much on the 1% of things not going right and not enough on the 99% of things that are going really well.  I’m definitely guilty here.

Explanation 3:  The act of accomplishing a goal changed your mind about what’s possible and therefore what would make you satisfied.

Have you ever thought how happy you would be if you could just land a certain job, move to another house, make a certain amount of money, etc.?  What usually happens?  For me, I find that once I get there I continue to need more to feel satisfied.  What I thought would make me satisfied is no longer good enough once I get it.  I thought top 15% would be great but once I was able to do it, my perspective changed.

The irony with this is the only way to improve is to not be satisfied but the only way to be happy is to stop and enjoy what you have. 

Explanation 4:  Some people get enjoyment from reaching the goal while others gets enjoyment out of constantly being on the journey. 

I’m convinced some people won’t be satisfied with any destination.  These types of people may think they’ll be satisfied when they reach a certain point, but they’re really only happy when they’re on the move…the journey is what keeps them going.

The great philosopher Miley Cyrus sums this up well… “There's always gonna be another mountain. I'm always gonna wanna make it move. Always gonna be an uphill battle, and sometimes I'm gonna have to lose. It ain't about how fast I get there, Ain't about whats waiting on the other side. It's the climb.”

That was so awesome…I just quoted a Miley Cyrus song.  By the way, that video literally has like 200 Million You Tube views.  Unreal. 

Summing it Up

Quick thought experiment:  Do you know people that seem more satisfied than you?  If yes, would you trade lives with any of those people?

If you’re anything like me, you may think some others appear more satisfied but you wouldn’t trade places with any of them.  That’s a pretty interesting thought which makes me wonder if the real question/answer is something much deeper…

Does everyone even have the capacity to be fully satisfied?

Schmeis