The Evolution of Guys' Weekend

Couldn’t my Ironman have been scheduled in late December?  I’m thrilled to have already crossed the finish line, but it’s not exactly easy to get pumped for workouts now that the main event is behind me.  Plus, I feel like I built up the Ironman so much that attempting the rest of my 35 goals is a bit anticlimactic.  

Oh well; this temporary lack of motivation is nothing that a little BUSY NOTEPADS can’t solve.  I’m still sitting at 14 of my 35 goals accomplished and I’m determined to get as many as possible before December 31.   

With my knee and other body parts still recovering from the grueling day, I needed a way to continue my progress while allowing my body a chance to recover.  Luckily, I had just the solution on the calendar:  a guys' golf weekend!

Let’s take a look at the weekend while also taking a step back and considering how my guys' weekends have evolved over the last 15 years.  

Phase I:  Every Night is Like Spring Break

This guys’ weekend phase is not terribly complicated to summarize; everything revolves around nightlife.  Staying out until 4am is required.  Sleeping in past noon is required.  There are no exceptions.  A daytime activity is permitted only as long as said activity involves sitting at a pool or lounging on a boat.  Any other suggested activity will get you laughed out of the room and potentially left off the invite list for the next trip.  

In fact, out of about 342,000 guys’ weekends I was involved with in my early 20s, I think this is the only picture ever taken during the day.  Maybe it should be in a museum.

So, given nothing happens during the day, I’m sure you’re curious what the nights are like.  Well, based on my gigantic sample size, I can confidently break down nights in this phase into 4 possibilities:

1.      Sports Argument Night – These typically happen after visiting every bar imaginable and finally realizing the entire city has decided to stay in and watch a movie.  The night just wasn’t meant to be so the group transitions into a random sports argument to help pass the time.  You’d be surprised how long and heated a discussion can become over whether Tiger or Jordan is more famous…

2.      Fight Night – On these nights, you can feel feistiness in the air.  Arguments keep popping up everywhere.  Generally, the verbal sparring is due to super critical incidents like accidentally bumping into someone in a crowded bar, fighting over a cab, or not getting a drink fast enough.  I won’t put 100% of the blame on tequila, but will mention that the correlation of fights breaking out and tequila being involved is roughly the same as the correlation between water boiling and heat being involved.

3.      Marathon Night – Marathons are those nights when the later it gets, the more it feels like you’re just getting started.  I’m just realizing that calling this category “Marathon” makes no sense.  I’m pretty sure it’s actually the opposite of how you would feel during a Marathon.  Whatever.  I meant that the night somehow just flies by…usually going something like this:

o   Step 1.  Go out for happy hour at 5pm.

o   Step 2.  Have a great time for next 10 hours.

o   Step 3.  Look at watch in disbelief as it reads 3am.

o   Step 4.  Check time with at least 6 other people and refuse to believe all of them.

o   Step 5.  Get mad at bouncer for telling you it’s last call. 

o   Step 6.  Go home and sleep for the next 37 hours

4.      Crowd Chanting Your Name Night–  Here is a good rule of thumb:  if the crowd starts chanting your name at a bar, you’ve done something right.  Maybe you were a stud on the mechanical bull.  Maybe you ripped off your shirt at just the right time.  Maybe you invented a dance move that quickly turned into a flash mob.  Or maybe you chugged a beer faster than Physics says is possible.  No matter what the reason, these nights are all about making mom and dad proud.

Phase II:  The Golf Weekend

In this phase, guys tend to mature immensely.  Our decision-making drastically improves and we have less meathead moments.  We realize we are grown, responsible adults so always behave as such.

HAHAHAHA!!  Sorry, I couldn’t keep typing like that with a straight face.  

The truth is that only one thing changes is this phase:  our ability to consume alcohol on consecutive nights drastically decreases from phase I.  

Because of this limitation, our bodies have forced us to make the weekend about more than just the nightlife.  Enter Golf as the generally accepted daytime solution.

For the last few years, I’ve been getting together with a group of business school friends for a golf weekend.  This year the destination was Austin, Texas.  

Of course, the weekend took on additional meaning this year as I also have 5 golf related goals from Schmeis35for35.  2 of the goals (juggling 3 balls in my hands for 20 seconds and juggling a golf ball on my club for 20 seconds) have already been accomplished.  That left 3 goals for me to attempt going into the weekend:

1     - Shoot a round of golf at 75 or under

2     - Eagle a par 5

3     - Hit a 300 yard drive

Since the majority of Americans can’t stand to watch professional golf on TV, I’ll assume you couldn’t care less about reading the play-by-play on my blog.  I’ll just say that 8 of us played 3 rounds of Ryder Cup style golf on amazing courses around Austin.  I’ll share some pics and also let you know the outcome of my 3 goals.

 

As for the first goal of shooting a 75, I wasn’t even close.  The obvious reason for failing is I’m not playing nearly enough to shoot that low of a score.  I would prefer, however, to use the excuse that the Ryder Cup style format didn’t lend itself to individual scoring so I didn’t have the opportunity.  Yeah, let’s go with that one.  

As for the 2^nd goal, I also had no success with making Eagle on a par 5.  I did hit two par 5s in 2 shots, but badly missed the Eagle putt in both instances.  In fact, I embarrassingly 3 putted for par in both cases.  Hey, never leave an Eagle putt short.

As for the 3^rd goal, I finally found success so all was not lost.  I blasted several big drives including a beauty down the pipe at a 370 yard par 4 where I had just 58 yards left.  In addition to the witnesses in the group, we also measured it from the tee to where the drive ended up with GPS.  Here was the pic…it’s as close to proof as possible for the 300 yard drive.

                                    

Boom...312 yards!  At least I got that one.  That puts me up to 15 goals now for the year…moving right along.

Phase III…Father and Son

The weekend following my guys’ golf trip, Sue went to Jamaica for a friend’s wedding.  Her departure left Grant and me alone to hold down the fort.  It was Guys’ Weekend Part Deux! 

Now, most people think I’m crazy when they hear I spent 3 days with a 2 month old while mommy was 1000 miles away.   But how would anyone not want to take care of this little guy?

  

So would my weekend be turned upside down?  Hardly.  In fact, Grant and I pretty much did what any guys would do…

First, we sat down to watch some basketball and football.

After a nice afternoon of sports on TV, we were ready for some lunch.  Sue had pumped for weeks prior to the trip to make sure I had enough milk to feed him.  He ate from the bottle great and I was pleased by his burping ability as well.  He always had this hilarious look on his face when I burped him.

Following a big meal, it was obviously time for a nap.  

Based on the picture, he still has a lot of learning to do in this area.  For someone who pretty much sleeps all day, he was amazingly bad at napping when I was tired.

After waking up, we spent some time practicing saying “hello.”  For the last couple of days, he’s been trying really hard to say his first words.  I think he’s said hello pretty clearly a few times but it could just be my huge bias from being his Dad. 

In any event, here is a video of him practicing his “hello.”   The one at the 10 seconds mark is clearly the best, but there have been even better ones off camera.  Not bad for a 2 month old!

Did you see that cheesy smile on my face?  

I could go with my best guy friends to Vegas or Miami and never get a smile anywhere near that big.  I could shoot a 75, eagle a par 5, or accomplish all 35 of my goals and not duplicate that grin.

That smile is only possible from one source.

That was a smile of a very proud Dad hearing his son say his first word.

…and that’s a guys’ weekend I’ll never forget.

Schmeis